Saturday, March 22, 2008

Samvedana

Guys,
With the last post, I received few good and inspiring feedbacks which motivated me to provide you the next improved attempt. This one is a serious one (you are not allowed to laugh this time). I have put a lot of work in this though it may not seem at the outset. It is the first time, I am realizing how the simple words can express so deep and intense feelings.
A couple had got married 6 months back. The poem is meant to express the feelings of the widow after the recent demise of her husband.
What to look for :-
1. The intensity of the emotions increasing with each para.
2. Use of simple words to generate the emotions.

बीती यादें, मीठी यादें,
अधरों पे हँसी, लाती यादें|
कच्चे वादे, कोरे वादे,
कभी ना होंगे, पूरे वादे||

तनहा रातें, सूनी रातें,
सन्नाटे से, करती बातें|
भीगी आंखें, गीली आंखें,
नमी से धुंधली, तकती आंखें||

बिन तुम जैसे, निष्प्राण हूँ मैं,
जिंदा लेकिन, बेजान हूँ मैं|
आना चाहती हूँ, पास वहाँ,
जाने फिर क्यों, चलती साँसे||
जाने फिर क्यों, चलती साँसे||

-मधुसूदन

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

oye ..pehle vaali zyaada achchhi thi :P

Arpit said...

pehle vaali zyaadaa achchi thi :P

Anonymous said...

I was expecting emotions of a widower . but of course, widowers hardly emote, i guess. Instead they are too pleased to find themselves a new bride, so shouldn't have expected :D

~ Kanchan

Madhusudan Sarda said...

@ Kanchan -
Ofcourse! You have to be practical in whatever you do, be it a poem or something else :D

Madhusudan Sarda said...

@ Arpit -
Arey yaar.. dil tod diya :(
Sacchai hameshaa bolni nahin chahiye.
You could have waited for some days atleast.. :P